1. en-ashram-N/G
2. 01-08-2025
4. Tweet

Mary:
Sam, where are you? You haven’t answered my texts.

Samantha:
I was flying on the plane, Mom. There was no Internet. I’m in the Calgary airport and waiting for my connection to Ottawa.

I pause and take a deep breath which I do every time I have to deal with my mother, even from a distance. Already my skull is pounding from the strain of the long journey. Now it pounds even more. I rummage through my purse for some Tylenol and take two with some water.

I notice my phone is at 15% and needs charging. Searching my purse for the charging cord, I try to find an outlet and a place to sit down. A big comfy green chair swallows me up and I can watch the planes taking off and landing out the big window.

I take out my journal and my favourite Tombaw pen to write down some self-affirmations to soothe myself and relax. 

I am enough.
I am worthy of being loved just for being who I am.
I am capable and prepared.

Slathering lily of the valley cream on my hands, I breathe in its lovely scent, picturing myself in a garden of the delicate little white flowers. I need all the visualization I can get! 

The phone dings and I cringe at another text from my mother.

Mary: 
Are you still there? Why didn’t you phone me when you were on your trip? 

Samantha: 
How could I? I was in Australia. There’s a 16-hour difference. I texted and I did send you a post card.

Mary: 
When will I get that? Next year? You know how bad the mail service is from that far away.

Samantha: 
It will give you something to look forward to. How is Dad?

Mary: 
Dad is fine. He says hi and hopes you brought him a stuffed Koala. I hope you didn’t. There’s enough of his crap all over the house. I keep bugging him to declutter but he never listens.

I put my phone away, stand up and walk for a while taking in all the activity of the people in the high-priced restaurants and stores trying to pass their time like me. A lot of them have their nose in their phones. 

I look at all the fun metal sculptures of the woodland animals like the owl and beaver and the native sculptures of the polar bears. A boy is sitting on a bear which doesn’t seem very respectful. I want to tell him to get off, but I don’t.

A little girl plunks away on a piano that resembles an airplane. Her mother sits off on her own staring at her phone, so cool and detached with her perfectly coiffed bleached blonde hair, her pastel blue cashmere sweater and matching slacks. With me they would only be pants but with someone like her, they’re slacks. Wish my mom was that detached but mine is the opposite and is so intrusive. Then again, that mother is a bit too detached and barely seems aware that she has a kid.

My phone rings and I see it’s my mom.

I debate letting it go to voicemail but I’ll never hear the end of it.

“Hi Mom.”

“What are you doing? Why didn’t you answer right away?”

“My phone was on the bottom of my purse and hard to get out.”

“I don’t believe you. You didn’t want to talk to your mother, did you?”

I clench my teeth together to stop from screaming.

“Oh Mom. Of course, I wanted to talk to you. How is Jess? Have you seen Lily and Brad recently?”

I switch the subject to my sister and her kids, hoping that will distract her. Mom loves to go on about the grand kids.

“Lily just took her first step the other day. I was there and took photos. Too bad you missed it. I’ll send you some on chat. Brad is doing great in junior kindergarten. He really likes it and can read Green Eggs and Ham already. Remember how you loved that book?”

“Yes, Mom. I remember. How is Jess liking being back at work after maternity leave?”

“She finds it hard but I help her a lot by taking the kids two days a week so she only has the sitter for the other three.”

“She’s lucky to have you helping, Mom.”

“So, when are you going to settle down instead of going on these long pointless trips? You’re 31 you know. Don’t wait too long. The pickings get slimmer as the years pass and then you’ll be stuck with divorced men, step children or worse, the men will be losers. I do not want a loser for a son-in-law. Todd is bad enough, but I try not to say anything as it just gets Jess and I fighting.

I roll my eyes at that comment, glad we’re not on Facetime.

“Gotta go, Mom. I see they’re checking us in for boarding the plane now.”

“I didn’t hear the announcement. Are you trying to get rid of me? You are, aren’t you?”

“Of course not, Mom.”

I grit my teeth together and swear quietly under my breath. 

“Do you want us to pick you up from the airport? Dad can come get you.”

I hesitate. I know all I’ll want to do is go back and crash at my apartment.

“I’ll take an Uber. Dad doesn’t need to come.”

“Dad doesn’t mind. We could have you come for dinner and you can share about your trip.”

“I’m taking an Uber, Mom, and that’s final. I’ll be in touch after I get over my jet lag.”

I hang up and turn my phone off in case she calls again. What a relief to end the conversation. Wish it was that easy in person.

How will I ever tell her that I’m marrying Jack and moving to a sheep farm in the Outback of Australia? 

Guess I’ll worry about that later. One step at a time.

Cathy Graham
Ottawa.

1. en-ashram-N/G
2. 01-08-2025
4. Tweet